Lessons Learned in a Crash and Burn

There are times in life when heartbreak hits so hard, so fast, so unexpected–your breath leaves your body and the sound of your own tears is all that is going on in the entire universe.

Sometimes the thing that breaks your heart is something everybody understands.

The death of a loved one. A gut sucking medical report. A tragedy of obvious proportions.

In those times, it is natural to find and receive the comfort and support of people who love you. It doesn’t take the pain away but there is comfort in a warm body to fall into, a shoulder to cry on, agreement with the emptiness of your soul.

Other times the thing that breaks your heart is so personal, so deep, so complicated that nobody in the entire universe can really connect with your pain. They want to explain it away. They want to help you accept it. They want to make you feel better. If you are really unlucky, they want to help you LEARN something.

I have just had one of those times. A broken heart that no one could soothe and most couldn’t understand.

I did what I have learned to do. I ran to Jesus. The ONLY one who is so close to me that He captures my tears and washes my face. The ONLY one who really understands how deep the pain is and why.

I escaped to a place that is dear to my heart and wrapped myself up in Him alone.

I was greeted by sunset and silence. A place thick with trees that are hundreds of years old and have stood deeply rooted as they have watched countless men and women pass in and out of a little tiny prayer chapel. I went to a place without comment, without advice and without judgement.

When I first arrived, I felt like this old tree looks.

Wound and Bound.

Is 57:20 says:
The wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest, whose waves cast up mire and mud. There is no peace says my God, for the wicked.

That’s me. When I am tossing, I throw up dirt.

Tears make my heart soft.

Be still.
Be quiet.

When I left, 2 days later, I felt more like this tree.


Bowed down in the presence of a Holy God.


Use my hands to heal Lord.
Pray through my lips.
Bring peace and rest to me.
Tell me your secrets.
Put your heart in me.
Let my life make someones life matter.
I have come to be apart with you, to steal your heart Lord.
When you glance at me, be smitten by my love.
Empty me so that I can be refilled with you alone.


be excellent at what is good be innocent of evil
and the God of Peace will soon crush satan underneath your feet.

Romans 16:19

Thank you Lord, for Freedom.

Tell me, how do you manage a “crash and burn”?

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  1. Oh Pat, I am so sorry to hear that you were going through such a painful time…just wanted to send my love and a hug. I will pray. Love, Kelli

  2. Just life, right Kelli. It’s what I allow God to do with it that matters to me.
    Thank you for your prayers.
    Love you friend!

  3. Pat, I know this place of the heart all too well. The pain is so deep and there is no remedy in the flesh. The beauty of this place is the way it urges us to rush to God in that raw, desperate way, truly in the secret place. He is our only real source of wholeness and healing. The grace and love I receive in that place with Him compels me to love more and give grace freely. The new life that emerges from the crash is beautiful, but the pain and loss in the crash excruciating. Sending you love and prayers.

  4. Kalisha-I know you do 🙂 Your words “compels me to love more and give more freely” are perfect for what God is doing in me. A beautiful Crash!

  5. Oh, friend. I SO understand this. There’s nothing to do but lift you up and thank the Lord, in advance, for what He’s going to do with it…through it…within your soul and withOUT. I love you. And my heart is smiling at the memory of your special place…a place that will always be special to me, too.

    Love you,

  6. Yes, Melinda, you do know our special place 🙂
    God is so good, His peace and healing is doing a quick work. Thank you darling.
    Happy, Happy Birthday. You are catching up with me right?

  7. Pat,

    I am sorry that you had a crash and burn, yet I am so thankful that God is there to hold you while you cry and pick you up. He is so good! Praying for brighter days ahead, dear one.

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