40 Ways to Make Marriage Last–40 years and Counting!
Today is our 40 Year Wedding Anniversary!
Yes, I did get married when I was 10!! LOL! WOW!
It is so hard to believe that so much LIFE has been shared between 2 best friends.
He actually had me at “Hello” when we met on a college campus. He was salt and pepper gray so I though he was way “too old” for me. Never the less–God crossed our paths through a mutual friend and it was LOVE!
Today, “Honey” aka “My Marine” “My Sean Connery” and I are in Menlo Park, California on our 12th day of a marathon ministry trip. We left Tampa on 8/23–started out in Oregon, spent a week doing ministry with a wonderful pregnancy care center there that included our coaching ministry PRC, MD; a Surrendering the Secret Leader Training and a Life Unstuck Girls Night Out!! We left Oregon and took a leisurely drive down the Oregon Coastline into California and have lingered here to WATCH the hurricane in our home state and WAIT OUT the hurricane dancing around Hawaii. We are headed there in a few days to speak at a pregnancy care center fundraising banquet next weekend. Oh darn, Maui…somebody’s gotta do it, right?!!
Anyway. God blessed us through a Hotels.com special with an unplanned stay last night at an ADORABLE boutique hotel just across from Stanford University called Stanford Park Hotel. If you are EVER in this area it is a YES for a romantic getaway!!
As we have had SO MUCH driving and SO MANY HOURS together over the last few weeks, we have had lots of time to talk about what has kept our marriage not only lasting but growing STRONGER than ever after 40 years. Since I haven’t written a blog post (or much of anything else) in many moons, I decided to jot a few notes even if it is just for our children and grandchildren to read someday.
We are lounging in our comfy hotel robes, drinking the coffee Honey packed and made as he does every single morning, taking a light hearted look and making a list that prayerfully could save another marriage like it has saved ours.
40 Ways To Make Your Marriage Better and Better
- Keep God first!!
- Stay married. Don’t give up. (No particular order after these 2 just our random thoughts)
- Learn to Listen.
- Fight Fair (no old stuff allowed..i.e. let old dogs die)
- Know when to hold up and when to fold up. Sometimes just walk away and cool down.
- Say very nice things to and ABOUT each other.
- Have a great home church and stay grounded in it.
- Surround yourself with like minded friends who are committed to the sanctity of marriage and family.
- Pray together daily or at least OFTEN!
- Study God’s Word together and apart.
- Grow LOTS of GRACE!!!!
- Make time to PLAY in every way 🙂 (I wish I could actually write what Honey just said!)
- Laugh!!
- Cry.
- Be your mates best cheerleader.
- Listen to one another’s dreams.
- Support one another’s dreams.
- Carry the loads of life together–share responsibilities.
- If you have children, parent from the same corner as best you can.
- Realize you are NOT going to always agree, somebody has to give in. Let it be you whenever you can.
- Seek help when needed. (This is CRITICAL!)
- Correct one another gently.
- Keep finances in order. Money is the #2 cause of marital strife. (#1 is intimacy or lack of)
- Surprise one another.
- Keep DATE NIGHT a priority .
- Plan romantic getaways whenever you can. NOTE: These times will go and grow as years, responsibilities and financial abilities change. Do what you can with what you have!
- Work hard together. (Moving, Garage Sales. Doing the Lawn. Washing the Car….)
- Share ART–Movies, Books, Creativity, Music, Teaching.
- Overflow your passions, excitements and dreams in a way that connects your hearts and stirs common goals.
- Speak kindly about one another’s families. HONOR and HELP those relationships grow or remain strong. Don’t create or ignite division.
- Look for opportunities to serve and bless one another.
- Find common fun–boating, fishing, hiking, beach days, mountain picnics, movies, plays, dinner with friends.
- Allow UNCOMMON fun–his golf days and your girlfriend lunches! He likes Football, I like Hallmark movies. Let it be.
- HER: Respect and admire him. HIM: Protection and Affection
- Kiss a lot.
- Hug a lot.
- Shut the door!!
- Hold hands.
- Flirt.
- Stay.
Did we miss anything?? I’d love to give a FREE LIFE UNSTUCK book to our favorite answer?
xoxoxo Friends–
Gotto go have a play day with Honey!
Pat
How about not staying angry
Or always share a room and a bed
40 Ways To Make Your Marriage Better and Better:
41: Never use the word or word Divorce in your marriage, Never!
How about be yourself all the time and let him be himself!!!
Don’t speak negatively about your mate to friends or family. What you speak is where your focus is! Talk to God or a counsellor. Air it out & let go of it. Speaking positively will help you be more loving to your mate even when they do things that irritate you or make you not like them so much.
The willingness to accept each other’s strong and weak points with understanding and respect is the foundation of a successful marriage. Being mindful, generous, having trust, being sensitive to each other’s needs and wants, having the ability to give and take, having a sense of humour, having appreciation and love for our spouse even if they don’t share our spiritual path, but still to love them for whom they truly are. As a couple we commit to love, care, and support one another in all situations of our life; whether it be in sickness and in health, in plenty and want, in success and in failure, or in joy and in worry.
As a wife of 33 years I’d say #41 is: Study your mate and learn their love language(s) — and intentionally love them in their language, not (just) yours.