Something is not right.
I woke up this morning with a sense of heaviness. It was not “out of the blue’. I have sensed it coming for a while.
I have learned to recognize a lack of peace in my life–a sense of something missing, something broken.
I have seen this before and I KNOW my disease.
It is the sickness of Passionate Pursuit.
I have been busy for the past 2 years. Busy doing worthy things, busy doing fun things, busy having cool experiences, busy seeing God at work, busy doing “God” stuff, always busy.
“Busy” has been a pattern of my life. It is how God created me. I am very active, very goal oriented, very engaged. I have always lived a passionate pursuit of something. There was a time when it was “man-love”; another time it was a college degree; another season had me passionately pursuing business and financial success, the next was a journey in search of personal wholeness. THAT season led me to Salvation. I discovered on that driven pursuit, that the keys to my FREEDOM are in the hands of Jesus Christ and no other. I learned that He alone could fill my GIANT CUP of personal emptiness and need. I learned that He was waiting with outstretched arms at all times and offered living water that would keep my cup full and overflowing. I learned that He knew me before I was born. He saw all of my passionate pursuits and knew that He would be my real first love and my last love.
My greatest love.
My Ultimate and Final Passionate Pursuit.
So….when I feel myself falling back into a pattern of PURSUIT that does not quench my thirst, I know that I am in trouble.
Some of the things I recognize in my own life are:
Feelings of low self worth/just never GOOD enough
Feelings of comparing myself to others and never measuring up
Feelings of rejection or being un-chosen
Feelings of fear or anxiety
Feelings of decreasing value
Tired, bad sleep patterns
Poor eating habits
Not enough exercise
No rocking chair or swing sitting
Quiet and lingering God time is quickly replaced by email, facebook, twitter, or blogging!
Neglect of real digging in study of God’s Word
Spiritual Disciplines WAY out of whack
Focus is more on my own FULFILLMENT and approval from others verses being FILLED with God and Fully Fixed on His approval and love.
Check, Check, Check.
When any combination of those things appear, I have learned to pay attention. God has taught me to have a tender sensitivity to His gentle alarm systems. I know that I have to STOP everything and get back to my first love. I know that it is time to get things RIGHT again.
It is time to get myself back to the “RIGHT” Passionate Pursuit
It is time to Narrow my Focus to one thing!
Seek God with my whole heart in a FRESH way…AGAIN.
Wow…that was revealing. I pray that if you can relate, you will be promted to join me.
See those logos below??? Don’t be looking for me at those places quite as much, but I will be HERE because I LOVE to Write the Right.
God called me to share Eternal Truths for Everyday Life.
This is my life.