I have been kicking my prayers up a whole bunch of notches over the past few days on behalf of a family member who is precious and priceless to me.
At the same time, I have been working on some stuff inside my own heart. Some stuff that is really not pretty.
Funny how we can’t really live life in compartments. We can’t separate those things we WANT to focus on in any given moment and IGNORE other things. Not for long anyway.
Everything is all mixed together. Life is mixed together. Most of us still have to go to jobs, even when we are having a bad day; we still have soccer practice even when we are heartbroken or scared and don’t want to move out from under the covers. We still have to put gas in our cars even when we are riding around with tears flowing down our cheeks.
We still have to run KINGDOMS even when we have lost everything that really matters.
That was the deal for Joseph in Genesis Chapter 42.
On the outside, Joseph was living in success, power and plenty. He had a job to do. People who counted on him. AT THE SAME TIME, on the inside, he was still a young boy who had been thrown into a hole by his brothers and left to die…in fact DEAD to them. He had been abandoned by his family. That has to leave some baggage. Some unfinished business. Some strongholds.
Those big, bad, brothers had also “moved on” through 23 years of life, marriage, children, family business. Still, we see in this chapter that they were still filled with shame, guilt and fear over what they had done to their own flesh and blood, their brother. Wonder how it had shown up in their day to day lives over the past 2 decades? Wonder how their kids were affected? Their wives? Their prayers??
It is truly and utterly exhausting to keep things looking put together when we are really a big fat mess.
Then one day, a collision of emotion comes together…
Ever been there? done that?
Joseph weeping (Gen:42:24) and the family arguing about who is at fault for their latest challenges. (Gen:42:21-23)
As I prayed and studied this morning, God brought my heart to the very Chapter of the Bible that has CAPTURED me for over 25 years but has taken on a whole new depth for the past 2 years through a woman’s conference I am offering called “Imagine Me..Redeemed, Restored, Renewed..Set Free”.
I literally live with this chapter day in and day out. It is constantly on my mind. God has and is showing me secrets beyond belief in these words and many others. He is healing me, restoring me and SETTING ME FREE!!! DAILY 🙂 That is what He did for Joseph and his brothers. God is never done with us. He is always doing a new thing. An unexpected thing. He is always refining us. Bringing more healing and taking us into new places.
My beloved family member has had some diagnostic tools inserted into his body to search out possible trouble, he has things wrapped around his head to measuer brain activity and wires hooked to his chest to read heart beats. They have looked at his body from the inside out.
It occrred to me as I prayed this morning…
God is doing the same thing, AT ALL TIMES, IN ALLL CIRCUMSTANCES. EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY!!!
He knows what is going on, even when no one else does.
Today, as I prayed for my loved one, as I prayed for myself…I claimed again…..
Lord, YOU Have SEARCHED ME and ♥♥♥ and you know us. You know when we sit down and when we stand up. You know what we are thinking, feeling, dreaming and fearing. You know when we are on the move and where we are going. You know every habit, every twitch, every weakness, every strength. BEFORE a word is on our tongue, you know what we will say. You know if we will cry, if we will blame or accuse or reject. You know if we are swallowing tears or brimming with joy. You know Lord.
We are FEARFULLY and Wonderfully made.
WE ARE KNIT TOGETHER BY YOU! The same GOD who crafted the sun, set the waves upon a roll, created an hydrangea and a holly berry.
YOU have HEMMED US IN!
What more is there?