I am sitting in the lamplight of our cozy B&B kitchen in Alaska. My only company at this hour is a steaming cup of coffee, a sinfully yummy muffin oozing with melted butter (forgive me Lysa :)), my Bible and a journal. The twinkle of tiny white lights woven all through the outside shrubbery is the only light I see. Moose tracks from the resident Mamma moose and her babies surround the twiggy bushes outside the windows and a few strings of lights lay low on the snow where she has pulled them aside to make room for her babies to try the evergreen salad.
We have tried to catch the moose family as they dine, but so far, no luck. I am told they are very grouchy around here and are quick to attack voyeurs from the south so it may be just as well.
It is 9am in Alaska and still deeply dark.
Our adorable hostesses/tour guide Michelle, devoted her second day to us yesterday and took us on honestly the most amazing visual feast I have ever experienced. We took a car drive to the Alyeska Ski Resort located so deep in the mountains that we barely saw another car until we arrived at the resort. I honestly have no way of describing the majesty of that drive.
The goodness and magnificence of God has been on my heart and mind way before coming here. The fact that He allows me to take part in HIS GLORIOUS rescue of HIS beloved family has always boggled my mind.
I think that at some point or another, we all compare ourselves with what others are doing, how well they do it, doors that seem to open for them, success they seem to embrace in ministry, as opposed to our own little place in the world.
I admit, I do. Maybe often. Sometimes I just wonder if I am “measuring up” against the ministry of others. Just being real here. Sometimes I feel I am not doing something right, or good enough, or making a difference with my efforts.
Then, something happens and I get a real grip, even for a minute, of how incredibly blessed I am. How little “I” matter, yet how much God loves ME!!
God literally scooped my lifeless self, my utter lostness, my shattered marriage; my shame filled past and my hopeless heart and drew me into His arms. He soothed my tears. He heard my prayer of repentance. He forgave my sin and cleaned up my life.
That was more than enough.
But not for Him.
God wants to take us places we cannot imagine.
He wants to redeem our loss and pain to be used for His glory and His story.
He wants to capture each one of us and carry us into majestic ministry and moves of the Holy Spirit that are so intense that our legs can’t stand and our tears or joy and peace can’t be stopped.
Bring it on Lord. I want it all.
Where you go I want to go.
What you see I want to see.
What you say I want to say.
Tonight….”Take the Mountain” and take me with you Abba.