Guest Post from Lysa Terkeurst

Today, January 22, 2011, marks the 38th Anniversary of legalized abortion in America.

Approximately 55 million lives are missing as a result.

Maybe one belongs to you.

Surrendering the Secret is a ministry that is all about the healing and restoration of hearts broken by the devastation of abortion.

Many of you know and love Lysa Terkeurst. If you haven’t gotten your copy of her BEST SELLING book Made to Crave, I encourage you to get your copy TODAY. Most of us girls have read a “how to loose weight in 10 Days” kind of book. I guaranty, you have never read a book like this. It will change the way you think about weight–physically, emotionally and spiritually!!

I love Lysa for many reasons. One of them is this story taken from her very popular blog. She was kind enough to allow me to share it here at Living Free while I am helping to heal some hearts in Alaska.

Thank you Lysa, for your transparency and your heart for God’s redeeming love.

Many of you know my story.

In my childhood I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of a close friend of our family. Then in my late teens, my youngest sister passed away and my world fell apart. I felt abandoned by God. I was so angry I told him I would never love Him or believe in Him again.

And with those words still fresh on my lips, I headed straight into the arms of the world and all it’s flashy promises.

Just a few years later, I found myself sitting in an abortion clinic realizing I’d just bought the greatest lie being sold to women today. With tears streaming down my face, I walked out of that place realizing it wasn’t just cells dividing that I allowed them to take. It was a child. And when they took that child, they took part of my heart as well.

I went home after that and wished I could close my eyes to never wake up again.

Eventually, I slowly returned to life. But not as the same vivacious person I’d always been. I was haunted and tormented by my decision.

Even on my wedding day. I remember walking down the aisle on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life- fighting with all my might not to cry when everyone stood up in honor of me. All I kept thinking with each step down that aisle was, “If only they knew- they’d never stand.”

The early days in my marriage were hard. Really hard.

It’s impossible to love another person when you desperately hate yourself. I went through the motions of smiling, trying to be happy, and trying to play the part of a young in love bride but the broken pieces of my heart kept bumping into my best efforts.

Then, 4 months into this rough start of a marriage, we found out we were pregnant.

The day Hope was born I saw God like never before. His tender grace was handed to me wrapped in a pink blanket with eyes so wide- so blue- they were a sea of forgiveness forever staring back at me.

I’d never physically touched God, but that day I did. And maybe for the first time in my entire life, His hope rushed inside of me and started rearranging and redeeming my brokenness.


We named her Hope.

Now, we won’t talk about the conversations I had with God when his Hope kept me up in the middle of the night for months after that. And we will save the story of how His Hope has always felt it was beneath her to be child and would put her hands on her toddler hips and tell me not to boss her.

We’ll save those stories for another day.

For today, I got an e-mail from His Hope. At this very minute, His Hope is walking the broken roads of Ethiopia navigating poverty her mind can’t quite process. She’s bumping into sheep and a woman walking toward her home made of cardboard and ripped bed sheets.

Her steps are steady though her heart feels shaky. For once again she will spend today loving on 30 kids dying of AIDS in a forgotten orphanage on the forgotten outskirts of town.

She wrote to say, “Mom, I’ve fallen in love. The kids rushed at me when I walked in and I tried to hold all 30 of them at one time.”

His Hope.

From a broken mama. Into a broken world. His Hope is going forth like only His Hope can.

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth,” 3 John1:4.

Lysa Terkeurst

Like I said before, I am still in Alaska training some new ministry leaders to help us “Heal the Heartbreak” of abortion!

Keep praying for us will you?

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  1. Praying I am! What an awesome post! Just posted my “story” on my blog last night for the world to see! I was so nervous all night long wondering who might be reading it and what they might think. But, I quickly remembered that it doesn’t matter. This isn’t about what others think; it isn’t about what I feel; it is ALL about being obedient to Christ. Thank you, again, for sharing a piece of your life with us….I know it encourages me! 🙂

  2. Lisa, thank you for your wonderful post. Your story of brokenness and forgiveness reminds me of my own and the many women I have led through Surrendering the Secret. But, our God is so good and so full of grace and mercy, and, oh how He uses our past sorrows and pains for His Glory. I’m thankful for the healing through His word and the many that have come to find it. I pray for those that have yet to come, but know that our testimonies of healing are stepping stones for those that are making their way there. May God Bless you and your ministry as you are a blessing to others!

  3. I too suffered from the decision to have an abortion. I was single and had a high paced sales job that i did not want to lose. That is the way I started off the year, and I ended that year by surrendering my life to jesus Christ! I attended a post abortion healing study that brought freesom from teh shame, guilt and bondage I was in. Little did I know that God would use that awful decision for good. We started Surrendering the Secret at our church last year. It was amazing and humbling to see God use my pain for other’s gain. He took my mess and made it into a ministry. The women who have been through the study have found freedom from their past and it has changed them from the inside out! Thank you, Jesus!

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