God’s Plan for a Troubled Heart

I lost my Mom last week.


Well-I guess I didn’t “loose” her. I know exactly where she is. She is in heaven. Dancing with my Dad. Organizing something. Creating something. Doing things with other people. But she is NOT here. She is NOT with me and my 3 younger sisters. She is not picking up her phone for me  twice a day. She is NOT with her Grandchildren who adore her. She is not enjoying the change of weather that happened the day she passed. We “lost” here as we knew her.

LOSS is a tough road that we all walk at various times in various ways. It is part of the “in this world you will have trouble” words that Jesus spoke. It comes dressed in the passing of loved ones; in jobs or ministries we rely on or love deeply that are stolen or outgrown; in friendships whose season has moved on; in bank accounts that are measured by red stuff instead of green stuff; in just dang disappointments.

When we “loose” something–it is OK to let our hearts rest and reflect. It is OK to cry-scream-shout-watch Netflix for 3 days (hmm—who said that?). It is OK NOT to “produce” or visit or write thank you notes. It is OK to allow the comfort only God can provide to sink deep into our inner most thoughts and tears and lonely moments. It is OK to allow a new normal to wander slowly, silently, tenderly back into our lives and lead us into healing again. It is OK to say NO to a few things that feel not OK to say NO to. It is OK to heal our own way and not be manipulated by “should’s”.

But then.

There will come a day, when we have to allow the loss to stand on it’s own and not be wrapped around our feet, hearts, minds or calendars. There will come a day when we have to allow the memories to bring smiles instead of tears and connections instead of set apart. Forgiveness instead of resentment.

But then.

Love will lead us into a new normal.

People who are here will be present and cover the bridge between yesterday and today.

New assignments will fill the hollow places left by stolen assignments.

Hope will fill the void left by disappointment.

Love, God’s amazing love, will lift us up. Every single time.

I am praying for those who are walking through LOSS today. I would love to hear from you in the comments below–it helps me know who is listening–who you are and what you need 🙂 Plus–I give FREE STUFF to my readers!

In His Grip–


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  1. Loss in relationships: I know that God gives us people for loneliness, friendships comfort and support but as merciful asi can be to the one who cheats & lies is hard to wrap my head around.. How can someone who says they love YOU go and hold hands & kiss another. Involve another when he can succeed in the relationship he’s already in? How can I thru forgivenes stated evrer feel sure that I’m not being sucked into the madness again. I’m listening God but I now don’t sleep again & I awaken all night calling out to my Father for help &time feels stopped. I’m grieving Pat. How can this relationship ever be true?

    1. Oh Karyn, I am so sorry for your loss. I am walking with someone I love through this same kind of betrayal and heartbreak. I don’t know a lot of great words to say but I do KNOW FOR A FACT–God will complete His good work in you.
      He has not betrayed you.
      He has not forsaken you.
      He is with you.
      He is near.
      Let forgiveness have another day–TODAY, just hang on to that truth and let Him comfort you.
      I, a perfect stranger, am saying a prayer for you today.

  2. Oh dearest Pat,
    I’m so sorry for your loss! I can’t let myself imagine the hurt of loosing one of my parents. Lifting you up sweet sister!
    At this time things are pretty rough for me as I’m loosing the battle for my marriage. I know it’s what has to be but its hard. Please pray for me as I walk this out.
    On a great note…my son will be returning from the Army soon due to a medical discharge. This was not the plan he had but God knows better and is redirecting him to a better plan. Pray for us to have direction and funding for this next phase of his life and mine too.
    My daughter is also facing some trials/tests as she is out on her own 4hrs from home and loneliness sets in and her choices are not showing to be good. I’m so concerned for her but know that she has choices to make even if I don’t agree. Every fiber of my being wants to intervene and set her back on the right path. It’s so hard to watch adult children make poor choices. My heart is heavy with so much stuff. Your prayers are so appreciated!!!
    Love and prayers,
    Paula Kaye

    1. Oh Paula, my prayers are with you! You are strong and brave. Stay the course friend–God will use your story for His Glory!!! He always does when we let Him!

  3. Dear sweet friend, I am so sorry for your loss. As you know, there is no time limit on grief. My Daddy passed away in 1998, on Easter Sunday. Mama passed away in 2013, one week before her 92nd birthday. I miss them so very much. I have wonderful memories of the special parents they were to me. I am praying for you and your family. Let the tears come as they need to flow.

  4. Dear Pat,
    I cannot imagine what you are going through as I have not lost a parent.
    I do know that nothing is too difficult for our God and that He will walk this tough road with you. I have had my business of 10 years suddenly dry up and am waiting expectantly to see what my provider has in store. This is where testing comes to see whether I believe what I say I believe. I do know that His grace is more than enough to see me and you through our difficult times.
    I will be praying for you- for the kind of comfort only the Holy Spirit can give, for strength to make it through another day, and for the the thing that you are supposed to learn from all of this to come in time with grace for you to share with others. I’m glad to see that you are giving yourself some grace too-to just “be” and reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Sending hugs….

  5. pat- just catching up and I am so sorry for your loss and your families loss. Praying now for you all. Your momma – wow what a legacy she left with bringing such wonderful daughters to this world. Love you!!!

  6. My love & sympathy to you dear one. Both of my parents are in Heaven also. Great peace in knowing we will see them again. Many times of missing them here.

    God has me learning to live in the moment. My husband has heart failure. He just got the pacemaker/defibrillator combo a week ago. I’m off work 6 weeks caring for him. God is so good that I’m able to do this. His illness has changed our hopes for retirement & our finances. At a time I could be consumed by much worry, which I toy with at times, God has given us great moments in the now. The kids & I have poured lots of love into my hubby. God is good all the time!

  7. Dearest Pat,

    My Life Group (studying your book) and I have been praying for you and your family during this difficult time. We will continue to pray. It is a difficult journey to grieve. I’m so thankful that during those difficult times our Heavenly Father is still with us and comforts us.

    Last week (October 27th) I celebrated my late daughter, Wendy’s 28th birthday by launching my first book. It was a day with mixed feelings -I miss her so much as she went to heaven 27 years ago and yet I was so exhilarated to FINALLY be publishing my book, which has been my dream since first grade.

    We continue to pray for you and your family during this difficult time as you discover your new “normal”. Life after a dear loved one’s passing is never the same!

    With love,

    1. Wow Tammy–what a bitter-sweet time. My blessings and prayers for your new adventure. I pray that every person who reads your book will find GOD in your words and offering!! Hugs to you!!!

  8. I am so sorry for the loss of you mom, Pat. My prayers are with you and I know that our Comforter has his arms tightly encircling you through this season. Lots of love.

  9. Hi. That was timely for me as I lost my husband of 49 years a few weeks ago.
    There is a myriad of tasks to get done surrounding that but I needed to escape for a few days so I went to visit a friend.
    Life will have a new normal but right now it is still surreal. No more texts. Ever. No visits to hospital or nursing home. Ever. A service to get through in a week.
    On the one hand grateful he isn’t suffering anymore. On the other wondering why it was such a long time of decline.
    Grateful God prepared me gradually but then sad for the years that were sort of wasted.
    One of the hardest things has been driving by the NH. Go figure.
    God is good. This season will pass.

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