Givers and Takers

In the middle of the night while I was solving all the problems of the world instead of sleeping–my wandering wondering–landed upon 2 very different interactions I had encountered over the past few days.

One was with someone who is always focused on serving and encouraging someone else. Regardless of when or where I run into this person they are always asking about me or my ministry. How they can help, what I need, how’s the family…how I am doing personally. I actually know of some of the recent challenges they have faced themselves but that never seems to be the focus of their conversation or even their thoughts. If I simply won’t allow the focus to stay on me, it will always end up on someone else.

There was another conversation–that was like pretty much every other conversation with this person–all about what they are going through, what they need and how I can help them do what they want to do.

Very different focus. Very different amounts of energy left afterwards.

During the middle of the night while I was solving all the problems of the world instead of sleeping–my wandering wondering– landed upon 2 very different possibilities for the amounts of energy I LEAVE behind when I walk away.

A Taker:

1) Is generally focused on themselves and what they need on a daily basis.

2) Is constantly thinking about how you can help them.

3) Is very clear about all that is wrong with the world.

4)  Has a sense of entitlement and thinks the world (or lots of people in it), owes them something at all times, the debt is never paid.

5) Makes you feel drained and inadequate every time you are together.


A Giver:

1) I always focused on you, what you need and how you are doing.

2) Is constantly thinking about how they can help you.

3) Is very clear about how BIG God is and that NOTHING is beyond His ability to heal; lead; restore or direct. They help YOU see that also.

4) Has a sense of humility and a servants heart. If things are not going so well with them, they remember number 3 and focus on how they can help someone else while waiting for God to work.

5) Makes you feel refreshed and hopeful as you walk away and you hope you see them again soon.


During the middle of the night while I was solving all the problems of the world when I was supposed to be sleeping–my wandering wondering–created that list and prayed that I am more of number 2 than number 1.

How about you?

Do you see yourself more in one than the other?

As for GIVERS!!!! There are 3 More days for you to leave a comment and tell me what you think about my thoughts and/or sign up right to the right of this post for my “Living Free” Newsletter. I send out 2 or 3 a year and one is coming soon!

The Drawing is on Saturday June 9th and the FREE All Pro Dad books will be mailed on Monday in time for you to be a GIVER for Father’s day!!


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  1. Oh mercy, I pray I am a giver. I know I have been a taker in my past, especially after my divorce. Glory I was so danged needy. Praise God I got through that. Great post, Pat.

  2. Leah YOU are a GIVER and always say the kindest things.
    Thank you for your sweet words friend!

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