Do You Feel Chosen?

One of my favorite things to do is clean my house. Yep, I’m strange like that.

Although there have been occasions when I have hired someone to do it for me, for the most part, I love to clean my own house. There is something about having a clearly defined assignment set before me that within a short amount of time, I can stand back and observe the results of my hard work. I can smell the yummy results, I can touch the yummy results, I can see the yummy results.


I love that about cooking, gardening, holiday decorating. I love a clearly defined assignment and a clearly enjoyed result–both in my personal life and my ministry life.

I have not been living such a clear ministry assignment for over a year now and it has been very, very tough.

I spent all last year couped up in my house writing two books, A Surrendered Life which released last Summer and my last book Life Unstuck which released in March. In fact, I have spent the last 4 months “releasing” it into the world and hoping somebody cares :), I am still praying to see the results. I watch Amazon. I receive sweet notes and photos of women reading my book. It has been a SLOW GO to say the least. No New York Times parties ’round here. No “it’s all finished and looks great” Yummy results to smell, see or touch-not yet.

As I have walked through this new process I have heard many discussions about “platform”. Basically, in the world of writing and speaking, “platform” is a critical part of your resume’. In other words–who are your people? who might actually BUY this book? who will CHOOSE you?

My first 20 years of my ministry life were filled with a “blind” call to open Tampa, Florida’s first Sanctity of Life Ministry/Crisis Pregnancy Center. God called, we stepped out. Our “Platform” was His assignment and our result was saving babies and healing broken hearts. Lots of babies have been saved. Lots of hearts have been healed. Thousands. People came without being marketed to join our “platform”. The assignment did not require a “launch”. We never had to look for partners or work for their support. The just came. We never had to guess about our “Yummy” success.

In 2008, God switched my “platform” from leading that local ministry to full time speaking and writing and my “platform” changed. I was no longer in my “safe” zone. Everything looked different and “platform” became scary and a case of clear “haves and have nots”.  The “Chosen” and the Unchosen” became very obvious in Facebook likes and Instagram hearts. I found myself running excitedly up to a group of speaking and writing women only to be patted on the head and sweetly “Unchosen”.

Honestly, the past few years have been swirling with confusion about what to do about that. My instinct when I feel “unchosen” is to just walk away and find someone who does “choose me”.  I have no need to butt my head against a closed door. I would much rather just choose another door.

This past week I ran a Facebook survey and upon really listening and hearing the hearts of so many women, several hundred responded, mostly unknown women, I realize how many of us are out there in the world feeling–UnChosen! I started to really meditate on that. To let the truth sink in and the questions bubble up. I started to pray and ask God for some truth!

What would I say to another woman who is feeling what I am feeling?

If you are not “chosen” by the crowd, do you quit?

If no one chooses me, or my book, (insert YOUR UnChosen here—or my talent, or my friendship, or my leadership) does that mean I misunderstood what God was calling me to do?

How do you deal with a lonely calling? one where there is no crowd? no clear affirmation? no raving fans? no “Yummy” result?

I would love to hear from you ladies!

In fact, I would LOVE to give away a copy of Life Unstuck to someone who comments this week and shares some insight with me!

Are there areas in life where you feel UnChosen? How do you cope? Where do you turn? What does God say about that?

On a happier note–

Last week, I went to Barnes and Noble and was so sad NOT to see my book on the shelf. Other Authors take pictures of their books at Barnes and Noble or Target. When I finally got the courage to check the local Barnes and Noble the only L’s on the shelf in the religion section, in the back corner of the store, were Max Lacado, Kathy Lipp and Amy Lively. As was  checking out I whispered to the cashier my wonderings about them possibly carrying my book since I am a local author.

“Sure” he kindly obliged, “what is the name of your book” he asked as he started to look it up in his inventory.

When I told him, his head flew up “Oh my gosh, we can’t keep that book on our shelves. I had so many women recommend it I just bought the last one of my wife!”. We have some on order now! (Shameless self promotion–PLEASE ORDER ONE!!)

Okey Dokey–

Yummy smell, yummy touch, yummy result.

One more day. Thank you for reading friend!



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  1. Pat, I have been with you since last summer when you started your research with the Sizzling Sisters (that’s what I called our Monday night talks on the phone). I have been with you through getting Unstuck. Be yes there are sooooooo many times that I feel Unchosen or maybe it is unworthy of being chosen. Being a pastor’s wife I never feel qualified to fit in those shoes. Also, church members want you there for certain things, but there are other things that they don’t want you around. The sad thing is, that is how we treat our Heavenly Father. When we need Him, we want Him. When things are going our way, we can handle it. I think that is how I have learned to handle being chosen and Unchosen, just try to keep my eyes on Him and remember that He knows exactly how it feels. Blessings and thanks for all you do. YOU ARE CHOSEN TO SHARE GOD’S WORD…..KEEP IT UP!

  2. Blessings Donna. I have often felt that the “assignment” of “Pastors wife” is reserved for only the most precious of women. I agree with you my friend–it’s where our GAZE lands that keeps us going. Keeping our eyes on Jesus and our ears to His whispers is our only hope!! I adore you and am grateful for your friendship!

  3. Feeling ‘unchosen’ has been a lifelong thing with me. I always knew that I was unwanted by my mother and was even taunted with this by my sister. I was of the wrong race to be living in suburban Baltimore in the late 80’s and I had little, if any, friends. I could go on, but the feeling of being uninvited to the party has followed me just about everywhere I go. I am new to Christianity, but I have heard this: Jeremiah 1:5 says, ‘”Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;’

    God knew how others would receive me; God made me. I am His design and His workmanship. He knew that He would send me and that others might not even want to receive His message…if it came through me. Still, being set apart means that I am chosen. It actually means that I live in a very intimate fellowship with Him. I don’t fit in. I couldn’t blend into the crowd if I tried. I don’t have millions of screaming fans (I am a musician, by the way!), but I do have His love and His reassurance that I am His.

    1. Rosa, this made my melt but at the same time SOAR!

      I am so big about us girls knowing what GOD SAYS about what feels STUCK, hurt or broken in us. If we are to fight against the lies of Satan, and WE ARE, we must know truth.

      You go girl! You just won a FIGHT 🙂

  4. Pat, I had the opportunity to meet you this past July at She Speaks. As someone who is new to the blogging and writing community, my immediate impression of you was that you were definitely one of the “Chosen.” 🙂 Isn’t it funny how we always think others are “Chosen,” but not us.

    Although breaking into the community often feels overwhelming, I am trying to keep my focus on God and what He has called me to do. I am confident that He will supply me with the right connections and opportunities in His time. I am trusting that as long as I am “Chosen” by Him and am faithful to do what He has called me to do everything else will come together. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will continue to pray against discouragement, and keep writing and putting my best effort forward.


    1. I love this Lynne and was actually thinking about that as I wrote. I am so aware that there is always someone, when we allow comparisons, that appears to be “MORE Chosen” LOL
      My heart’s desire, and I feel part of my assignment, is for us girls to truly be there for one another–we are BETTER TOGETHER! My desire is to reach back and help those who are a bit behind me and to hopefully reach forward to those who might help me learn more. It’s a chain reaction!
      BTW–I LOVE your website and just subscribed!
      Blessings and thank you for your thoughts! Very precious!

  5. It is an amazing, humbling, totally-trusting-God thing to step out in the assignment that you have been chosen for. I have no doubts that God chose me to speak out about His love and grace that healed me from the bondage of having an abortion 20 years ago. I have been speaking out and leading STS studies for about 5 years…the experience of leading a broken women through the healing process to find freedom in Christ is amazing, and my heart swells with awe of God every single time for every single women that I have had the privilege of walking along side with during her own healing journey. I don’t doubt my calling, but these past few weeks with the Planned Parenthood videos and all the talk swirling, and the lies people choose to believe has been difficult. It is frustrating to know the truth, have a voice, and the desire to speak out…and have no one who wants to listen because it is just too uncomfortable for them to hear. And meanwhile, post-abortive women are still hurting. Even as I write this, the story of Esther (one of my favorites) is turning in my head…”For such a time as this.” I have been chosen, and if you are a post-abortive women who has been healed from abortion, so have you, for such a time as this, to speak out and reach out to the women who need us. And Pat, you have been chosen-I know you have. God’s choice to have you write the STS study has impacted MANY of His chosen, myself included. God CHOSE you to write words that point out the love and forgiveness that God offers to everyone, for every sin-including abortion. Thank you.

  6. I feel unchosen because of poor health. I suffer from migraines and when I finally am doing better, I get 4 in 7 days. I feel bad that it also affects my families lives. I have been constantly trying to eat clean, and work on not getting them. I just wish they would go away so I can really learn what my calling is and focus on it.

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