“Somewhere between the memories of what has been and the hopes of what might be, we pause, take a deep breath, and wonder”
Embracing Your Second Calling—Passion and Purpose for the Rest of Your Life
Dale Hanson Bourke (Thomas Nelson, 2009)
I devoured this book. It is so yellow highlighted that I can not tell what is NOT important. I have now started a Word document and am attempting to breakdown what exactly I want to DO with all of this powerful information.
This book reads my mail. It is about me. I am walking into my “Second Calling” and it has not been pretty, or easy, or entirely encouraging. A few years ago, as I approached my 20th year of leading a local para church ministry called Life Impact Network, I started to feel antsy. Not unhappy or less passionate about the privilege God had given me of serving in such a life changing, life saving ministry. I just felt antsy, unsettled and like change was coming. As “antsy” as I felt, I was very comfortable in my role. President, Founder, Leader. 20 years of experience. Respected and Embraced. It was all good. Ansty…but good.
I should have been warned.
Within just a few months I found my self, completely and without question, placed by God, in the hallowed halls of Lifeway Christian Resources sitting at a big giant conference table surrounded by some of the most amazing women I had ever met, Lifeway Women’s Ministry team (book editors, event planners, magazine editors, lead trainers, marketing specialist and more). I can still “feel” myself in that room even though it has been over 2 years. It was an out-of-body experience to say the least. The presence of God was so strong I could practically SEE Him in the room watching over us. He is the only one who could have placed me there. I didn’t deserve to be there then and I still don’t. In any case within 6 months I found myself the Author of a Bible Study for women who have endured the loss and heartbreak of a past abortion called Surrendering the Secret.
God used that event, those few hours in that room, to change my life and shoot me like a cannon ball into my SECOND CALLING. To tell you the truth, most of the time I FEEL like I have been shot from a cannon…dazed, unsure of myself and flying into unknown territory hoping there is a mattress somewhere.
I had always dreamed of writing someday, in my next life. I have a Christian Romance Novel all the way thought out and about half way written, with the plot for a SEQUEL in my notes. Christian Fiction is what I planned to write..NOT a Bible Study about abortion, for heavens sakes. WHO in their right mind would PLAN that environment for the 2 Half of life (or the first for that matter)? Abortion is a topic that invokes tension, strife, heartache, and rejection. Rejection is something I have worked my entire life to overcome. It would be the LAST thing I would ever search out. Which is pretty much what I am doing today. Who knew?
In any case, the process of writing that book, filming the video companion, working with amazing editors and marketers and ministry leaders has hooked me forever and I have without question, fallen in love with this new world. God put a new CALL on my life in a way that I never expected or could have ever thought out myself.
I love to read. I love to study. I love to write. I love to teach and tell everything God gives me before it barely gets warm in my heart (as you can easily tell on this blog). I love to encourage women and to help them see and embrace the amazing plan God has for their lives. I always have.
The bad news is, this “new life”, this new CALL, has NOT fallen in love with me.
After years–YEARS– of embracing personal “Freedom” and healing from my past I have found myself in position of learning more. Imagine that!! After YEARS of learning to reject the strongholds of rejection, feelings of not measuring up or being “good enough”, feeling like an outsider no matter what I do or where I go..WHAM…I have found myself right back in some of those same situations.
What??? What is this about God? I didn’t ASK for this. You put me here. You made this happen. Why is it so hard???
I wonder, are there any women out there who can relate?
Are You walking in the “CALLING” (First or Second) God has for your life?
Is it what you thought it would be? Is it easy?? How do you KNOW God called you to what you are doing? What keeps you hanging on?
Tomorrow I will share about a couple of women–One in her First Calling and One in her Second—who found themselves very surprised.
Speaking of Second Calling….This is one of mine: “Imagine Me…Redeemed, Restored, Renewed..Set Free” Freedom Weekends for Women.
Maybe you could join us for the next event. We can chew on this together with lots of other sisters who are looking for a soft landing!