Chosen Women..Is THIS what God had in mind??

“Somewhere between the memories of what has been and the hopes of what might be, we pause, take a deep breath, and wonder”
Embracing Your Second Calling—Passion and Purpose for the Rest of Your Life
Dale Hanson Bourke (Thomas Nelson, 2009)

I devoured this book. It is so yellow highlighted that I can not tell what is NOT important. I have now started a Word document and am attempting to breakdown what exactly I want to DO with all of this powerful information.

This book reads my mail. It is about me. I am walking into my “Second Calling” and it has not been pretty, or easy, or entirely encouraging. A few years ago, as I approached my 20th year of leading a local para church ministry called Life Impact Network, I started to feel antsy. Not unhappy or less passionate about the privilege God had given me of serving in such a life changing, life saving ministry. I just felt antsy, unsettled and like change was coming. As “antsy” as I felt, I was very comfortable in my role. President, Founder, Leader. 20 years of experience. Respected and Embraced. It was all good. Ansty…but good.

I should have been warned.

Within just a few months I found my self, completely and without question, placed by God, in the hallowed halls of Lifeway Christian Resources sitting at a big giant conference table surrounded by some of the most amazing women I had ever met, Lifeway Women’s Ministry team (book editors, event planners, magazine editors, lead trainers, marketing specialist and more). I can still “feel” myself in that room even though it has been over 2 years. It was an out-of-body experience to say the least. The presence of God was so strong I could practically SEE Him in the room watching over us. He is the only one who could have placed me there. I didn’t deserve to be there then and I still don’t. In any case within 6 months I found myself the Author of a Bible Study for women who have endured the loss and heartbreak of a past abortion called Surrendering the Secret.

God used that event, those few hours in that room, to change my life and shoot me like a cannon ball into my SECOND CALLING. To tell you the truth, most of the time I FEEL like I have been shot from a cannon…dazed, unsure of myself and flying into unknown territory hoping there is a mattress somewhere.

I had always dreamed of writing someday, in my next life. I have a Christian Romance Novel all the way thought out and about half way written, with the plot for a SEQUEL in my notes. Christian Fiction is what I planned to write..NOT a Bible Study about abortion, for heavens sakes. WHO in their right mind would PLAN that environment for the 2 Half of life (or the first for that matter)? Abortion is a topic that invokes tension, strife, heartache, and rejection. Rejection is something I have worked my entire life to overcome. It would be the LAST thing I would ever search out. Which is pretty much what I am doing today. Who knew?

In any case, the process of writing that book, filming the video companion, working with amazing editors and marketers and ministry leaders has hooked me forever and I have without question, fallen in love with this new world. God put a new CALL on my life in a way that I never expected or could have ever thought out myself.

I love to read. I love to study. I love to write. I love to teach and tell everything God gives me before it barely gets warm in my heart (as you can easily tell on this blog). I love to encourage women and to help them see and embrace the amazing plan God has for their lives. I always have.

The bad news is, this “new life”, this new CALL, has NOT fallen in love with me.

After years–YEARS– of embracing personal “Freedom” and healing from my past I have found myself in position of learning more. Imagine that!! After YEARS of learning to reject the strongholds of rejection, feelings of not measuring up or being “good enough”, feeling like an outsider no matter what I do or where I go..WHAM…I have found myself right back in some of  those same situations.

What??? What is this about God? I didn’t ASK for this. You put me here. You made this happen. Why is it so hard???

I wonder, are there any women out there who can relate?

Are You walking in the “CALLING” (First or Second) God has for your life?

Is it what you thought it would be? Is it easy?? How do you KNOW God called you to what you are doing? What keeps you hanging on?

Tomorrow I will share about a couple of women–One in her First Calling and One in her Second—who found themselves very surprised.

Speaking of Second Calling….This is one of mine: “Imagine Me…Redeemed, Restored, Renewed..Set Free” Freedom Weekends for Women.
Maybe you could join us for the next event. We can chew on this together with lots of other sisters who are looking for a soft landing!

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  1. Oh Pat,

    I can so identify with the ‘antsy’ feeling. Have felt it for several months now. I suspect this Bible study I have written has something to do with it. Yes, I am seeking to walk out the call the Lord has placed on my life. The path is a bit unclear at present, but I sense that He is saying “Wait and trust me.” I fought the call for months in 2007 before He finally made it clear that I would say ‘yes’. Now, I simply wait on Him and try to be in the center of His will in the midst of the wait.


  2. Yes, Yes and Yes and all of the above!! You know first hand the road I am traveling and what a road this has been for me. It’s not a road I would have chosen for myself either but God wants me on it and I will follow Him anywhere. So I walk with trepidation and excitement and follow Him who placed me where I am. It’s truly the only place I want to be.

  3. I said a prayer for you ladies as I read your comments.
    God is faithful but rarely predictable. He was talking to me today about the journey He will allow in order to truly be our only source and our absolute all in all. I had to admit some “idols” of in my life of success, clarity and comfort that I know must be laid down in order for me to RUN the race set before me.
    Rats, I thought I had already done that!! I guess not completely huh?
    Praise Him for His mercy and promise to “complete” HIS WORK in us!
    Love you sisters.

  4. Oh, how this speaks to me today! Just this weekend I was struggling with feelings of discontentment. I’ve had temper tantrums with God. “THIS is where you’ve put me?!” I suppose I am in my first calling of life, though I am still floundering to figure out just what that is. I’m a relative newlywed (a little over 2 years) and I have inklings of passions and talents God has given me, but I’m not sure how to put them all together, especially when I add in the ministry of marriage and the shared dream my husband and I have for our own ministry someday. In my head, I know that God has placed me where I am for a specific purpose. My heart is more unruly. It is fighting Him and His plan because quite frankly, it’s harder and messier than I would like. What keeps me going? I look at where I was just four years ago, in rebellion against God, and I see His hand leading me to this moment. I look to my husband for strength and a good kick in the rear when I need it. I look to the beautiful friends God gave me for encouragement. And even when I’m raging against Him, I still look to Him because even though it doesn’t always feel like it, He is always good. Thank you for the ministry of this entry. I very much needed this today.

  5. Oh my, Lisa. This made me cry. I can not express how honored I feel for you to share your heart like this on my blog. I feel like I have been entrusted with a gift–just when I have been thinking I might should put this whole blogging thing aside.
    I love how you claimed the path that God has brought you through already and for the good things He has done. I love how you embrace your husband and the friends He has brought into your life. And I love how sweetly you acknowledge God’s sovereign goodness in spite of our breakdowns. We are such a work in progress Lisa. Clay in His hands.
    Today, I listened to Pastor John Piper quote the entire book of Philippians . During parts of it, he cried and I cried listening to his passion and his love for God’s Word. After he was done, he talked about how tough it is in his life to “stay the course” and how tough it is when we don’t understand WHAT God is doing, or more often I think, allows US to do. Since you do not have a blog Lisa, I don’t know if I we have met before or not but I do know this, God DOES have a Call on your life. He IS at work in and through you and you WILL look back 4 years from now and SEE HIM smack dab in the middle of if all and be praising His goodness even more
    Thank you sweetheart, for visiting my blog. You have blessed my heart.
    Phillippians 4

  6. Me again =) Thank you for your wonderful response, Pat. You made me cry, too! I realized I forgot to link to my blog before. We haven’t met before. I learned about you through a friend of mind who attended a conference where you spoke. She gave me CDs of your talk and your message was just what I needed to hear. Thank you for your encouragement!

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