In my early days of serving God, I nearly lost my ministry opportunities wallowing in that question. In fact, I turned my resignation in to my Board so many times they finally ordered me to never to write one again, they would just keep it on file for when THEY wanted to use it. I spent so much time beating myself up over my inadequacies and failures that I began to create bruises in my heart, head and spirit.
Finally, somewhere along that journey, maybe 10 or 15 years into it, I GOT IT….and MOST of the time now, I keep it.
“Pat, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
You have Never been good enough.
You never will be good enough”.
WOW! What freedom I have found in my “Not Goodness”!!
What happened was I finally GOT IT and allowed the truth to sink from my head to my heart that God’s GRACE truly is all that I need. (2 Corinth 12:9) and in fact my weaknesses allows His Power to be PERFECTED!! Which is really good news!
There are so many truths in God’s Word that make absolutely no sense to the rational brain. I’m just guessing here, I have never HAD a “rational brain” so I am not totally sure about this but my hunch is, that any Boss in the corporate world who heard “my weakness allows your power to go on display” and did not trust in God’s Word, would say….Yeah Right, Your Fired!
Paul actually said in these passages that he “DELIGHTS” in his weaknesses, IN INSULTS, in hardships, in persecution and in DIFFICULTIES.
I definitely give God lots to work with in my life in this area.
I FAIL constantly. I failed yesterday. I am sure I failed today but yesterday’s failure is still stinging so I haven’t noticed.
I really try to stay true to the character and behavior and words that God has planted in my heart. I want to honor His name in my life every second of every day. I would love it if everybody thought I was wonderful and perfect and never failed but oh my….they don’t….Not even close.
Jesus knew it would happen when He proclaimed, “The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”.
Thank you Lord for your grace, for loving me and using me even though I am not “good enough”. Not good enough TO ME, but more than Good Enough to you!
How about you, have you struggled with this truth lately?
Do you ever feel “Not Good Enough”?