Am I Good Enough Lord??

In my early days of serving God, I nearly lost my ministry opportunities wallowing in that question. In fact, I turned my resignation in to my Board so many times they finally ordered me to never to write one again, they would just keep it on file for when THEY wanted to use it. I spent so much time beating myself up over my inadequacies and failures that I began to create bruises in my heart, head and spirit.

Finally, somewhere along that journey, maybe 10 or 15 years into it, I GOT IT….and MOST of the time now, I keep it.

“Pat, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
You have Never been good enough.
You never will be good enough”.

WOW! What freedom I have found in my “Not Goodness”!!

What happened was I finally GOT IT and allowed the truth to sink from my head to my heart that God’s GRACE truly is all that I need. (2 Corinth 12:9) and in fact my weaknesses allows His Power to be PERFECTED!! Which is really good news!

There are so many truths in God’s Word that make absolutely no sense to the rational brain. I’m just guessing here, I have never HAD a “rational brain” so I am not totally sure about this but my hunch is, that any Boss in the corporate world who heard “my weakness allows your power to go on display” and did not trust in God’s Word, would say….Yeah Right, Your Fired!

Paul actually said in these passages that he “DELIGHTS” in his weaknesses, IN INSULTS, in hardships, in persecution and in DIFFICULTIES.

I definitely give God lots to work with in my life in this area.

I FAIL constantly. I failed yesterday. I am sure I failed today but yesterday’s failure is still stinging so I haven’t noticed.

I really try to stay true to the character and behavior and words that God has planted in my heart. I want to honor His name in my life every second of every day. I would love it if everybody thought I was wonderful and perfect and never failed but oh my….they don’t….Not even close.

Jesus knew it would happen when He proclaimed, “The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”.

Thank you Lord for your grace, for loving me and using me even though I am not “good enough”. Not good enough TO ME, but more than Good Enough to you!

How about you, have you struggled with this truth lately?

Do you ever feel “Not Good Enough”?

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9 Comments

  1. I think we must have been separated at birth. I can relate to everthing you’ve written about. I cringe when I think of how many years I wasted asking myself that very same question. Praise God…I got it too! No more!!! The Truth will set you free…

  2. Yes, I struggle with this often. But it’s Him we want to shine through us, we cannot do it in our own humanness! Only with HIM. As you said, we will never be good enough but HE IS GOOD ENOUGH!!! Praise God!

  3. Sweet sister, we are just too much alike!!! And I love that about “us”! So thankful we both stopped listening to the lies and doubts and started believing and living like GOD tells the truth!!

    Love you big!
    Renee

  4. What an amazing freedom to know that God is good with this fact though. That He loves us becaue of Whoz we are and not what we do. That we can offer the ‘fishes and loaves’ of our lives and He feeds the five thousand with them.

    I kinda like it this way … takes the presure off as well as knowing I have Someone to totally lean into.

  5. My thoughts that I’m not “good enough” comes way more often, then not. Just the other day, I told my husband that I think I need to step down from this ministry.
    That there as to be someone else who is more qualified in leadership and have all their ducks in a row.

    Pat, I needed to this!

  6. Tammy,
    God does not choose ducks who are in a row!!
    He chooses and uses ducks who swim behind HIM alone!!!

    Just keep swimming, just keep swimming……..

  7. Pat I am soooo proud of you for doing the work I know god has lead you to do.
    Love you
    A/Jeanette

  8. Lately I’ve been feeling not good enough. I always ask myself, am I good enough to anyone at all? Some times the difficulties of life really pushes me down. i try to be positive because I know that Jesus went through everything I am going through. But often I wonder why all of this? And why now? When will it all end?….things really have been so hard for me and I do t understand. My heart is heavy. I don’t know what else to do. Keep me in prayer anyone. Who ever is reading this.

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