Would you ever in your wildest dreams imagine the church to be the scariest place in the world to share you deepest secrets and your hidden hurts? For me, a woman with a dark and shameful past, for a long time it was.

I remember standing in front of my locker as a 16 year old, first day of school, High School Freshman, when my cousin who was also my best friend came towards me with tears running down her beautiful cheeks. Our summers’ had taken us to different ocean shores so I was not privy to anything going on in her recent life. She dramatically fell into my arms right in the middle of the hallway in front of our newly assigned lockers and amongst the curious stares of old and new friends. She began to share with me some experiences of her summer that had changed her young life from girl to woman. Her open heart and her trust freed me to immediately share some “me too” moments and we stepped right there in front of the staring seniors, into a new level of love, support and bonding beyond what we have already enjoyed.

Women need women.

Fortunately, sharing both the joys of my life and the pain was a familiar process for me, not only with my dear cousin but also with my flesh and blood sisters. I was born oldest of four girls all of us being born only a few years apart. Open communication between girls is easy when four of you share a bathroom amongst other girl things. The thing is, during those years our one to one confessions were usually limited to missing curfew or not doing our homework.

Although confession drama grew with age, what I shared with my sisters or even my teenage cousin in the hallway of my High School, paled in comparison to the secrets and shame that would begin to build like a mountain of ants just waiting to sting my life over the next 7 years. I wandered blindly into deep darkness and heartache of experiences I never dared share with anyone. Not even my sisters.

After living a whole bunch of lost years from my early teens until my late 20’s, God got my heart. He lovingly confronted me in a place that I never thought He would lower Himself to enter. I clearly remember the night that I heard the words from Him that allowed for not even a shadow of doubt that God Himself was speaking to me, “Pat, what are you doing with your life, come to me–NOW”

I stepped out of darkness that night and started following a path that would lead me straight into the arms of Jesus Christ. I was a messed up young woman, a wife and mother with lots of secrets and lots of need for a girlfriend who could show and share the truth’s of God’s Word with me. Unfortunately, real or imagined, when I looked around my new church family all I saw was a bunch or really sweet, beautiful and PURE new Christian sisters. Not a sinner in sight.

As I began to read and study God’s Word as a desperate and bleeding young woman who was looking for hope, I found a story of a personal crisis shared between two cousins that happened many thousands of years ago when young teenage girl by the name of Mary, went running into the arms of a waiting best friend/older cousin.

The story is found in the book of Luke Chapter 1.

23When his time of service was completed, he returned home. 24After this his wife Elizabeth became pregnant and for five months remained in seclusion. 25“The Lord has done this for me,” she said. “In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people.” 26In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” 29Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. 39At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, 40where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. 41When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. 42In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! 43But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!” 56Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about three months and then returned home.

Mary was young, unmarried and pregnant with a boyfriend who was making an exit plan.

Elizabeth was an old woman who faith had grown cold before God decided to flip her world like and egg in a frying pan. Scripture says she was experiencing “disgrace among the people”, (Luke 1:25) her Christian sisters included.

In this eternity changing story, God shows us a beautiful example of one woman ministering to another, and just how powerful His presence can be in a situation like theirs.

He showed us a pattern for Women Mentoring Women.

Christian women need love, comfort and encouragement that can only be found one to another–even when it comes to things we are not so proud of. Often, the best of those moments come from an older woman to a younger one.

How about you? Do you have Christian girlfriends you can really trust with your heart–your past/present and future? 

Do you have someone you look to as a Christian Mentor?

I would love to hear your story!

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I am sitting in a Marriott restaurant (again) in Leonard, Michigan.

Julianna and I arrived here late yesterday afternoon after flying in from Tampa. We were picked up at the airport by a very kind Gentleman who is the husband of event hostess were we are speaking today.

After calling and letting us know where he was arriving, he got out of his car, opened the trunk, lifted and packed all of our luggage then opened car doors and waited while we settled inside. Bill chatted politely on the drive to the hotel sharing all about his community and family along with the details of the event we were about to enjoy. He dropped us off at the hotel after walking in and making sure we were registered and safely checked in. We were later driven by a very kind gentleman from the hotel to the nearby shopping MALL. (purposely written with all capital letters. I have never experienced quite a smorgasbord of shopping IN SPITE OF THE FACT that we spent last weekend on the Magnificent Mile in Chicago.)

The thing is, I have not always appreciated, or enjoyed, the way God set things up in the relationships of men and women.

When I was younger I often denied and rejected the Biblical model of women submitting to their husbands and men being directed by God’s Word to love (and treat) women “As Christ loves the church”. I allowed some bad choices and immature relationships to create an  attitude of independence and “I don’t need your help” thinking to establish roots in my heart.

Over the years, as I have grown both physically and spiritually, I have learned to treasure  this precious difference and to actually SEE GOD in this dynamic between men and women. To see how He transfers His own love for His daughters through the men in our lives who MODEL (and not all do) God’s protective and sacrificial love.

I believe its because God CREATED them to be that way when, women will ALLOW it.

God created men to care for women.

The theme of our Woman’s Brunch today has gotten me thinking more about that truth. I know that my husband has nurtured that behavior in our sons and that our sons will pass it on to their sons. While in tun I am molding for my daughter, the spirit of a woman who understands her particular and precious design. I am always learning more. Hoping to do it better.

The event today is called “The True Beauty Breakfast”.

On the inside of the program cover is the most beautiful quote–

“To a great extent the level of civilization is the level of it’s womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more her character, the move devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of it’s women”  Archbishop Fulton J Sheen.

WOW!

The program goes on to state that the morning is designed to “honor and uplift” women of all ages and that their desire for the event is to—GET THIS—-

“Raise the Level of Womanhood in our community and THAT, my friends, is TRUE BEAUTY.”

My goodness, I have so much more to say about this but our ride will be here soon.

Please pray for me and Julianna this morning and let me know your FIRST thought about my thoughts!

I am STILL collecting names for our FREE “All Pro Dad” book giveaway

I’ll be back soon,

Pat

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